I have been owning my 5 pet cats since 2017, and I have to admit I’ve been going through emotional roller coaster since then. From the time when I had to spend hours and hours trying to find them when they got lost in the neighborhood, or when I came home to my food splattered on the floor because one of them tried to steal it, there are a lot of things that made me even angrier with my cats.
There were occasions when I got violent, such as throwing sandals or shouting at them. But the longer time I spent with them, the more I realized that all my anger was useless, and the more I understood that my anger was futile. Finally, after thinking through all of those things, I learned a lot about anger from them, and I will share it here.
Anger is normal.
Whether it will be a thing that goes outside our plan, or a friend that violates us, there will be something that will make us angry someday. But the truth is, something that makes us angry doesn’t mean that it will never be able to give happiness.
I always hate it when my cat tries to steal foods off the dining table. I hate it the most when my cat tries to escape whenever I open the front-door of my house. But as often as I find things that make me angry with my cat, I also find reasons to smile and laugh at them whenever they do silly stuff like tripping on the stairs and chasing bees.
“Don’t ever think to throw away or quit something that makes you angry. It might bring you the happiness you deserve later.”
Anger is egotistical.
We get angry when things don’t turn out the way we want it to be. It seems like that we only want things to benefit us, to give us pleasures, and follow what we want it to be. But there are other elements in life that will push things to follow its own needs and wants, and that doesn’t always align with ours.
I was so angry when my cat tried to steal the fried chicken I was trying to eat. But then I realized the good smell was probably what made my cat curious, and as an animal it will always have the instinct to look for food. When we understand the equation that creates anger, we become relieved of it, and things create less anger than it was before.
Venting anger is as important as managing it.
Managing anger doesn’t always mean that we don’t have to feel and let go the raging feeling within. We have to understand that holding your anger will do no better than mindlessly letting it out. Instead, it’s important to find a way to properly eject it.
I realized that shouting at my cats or hurting them when they tried to steal my food will never make them realize that it was wrong. Instead, I spent the energy spikes I got for being angry to rigorously find ways to stop them from trying to steal my food.
Later on, I found that the smell of fish that I often cook attracted them onto my dining table. I bought tuna-flavored cat food and treats for them, and this has helped to get them away from the dining room.
Happiness comes after anger.
Not that you have to be angry to feel happy, but if you manage to control all of your anger and vent it the correct way, you become happier and feel more relieved.
Being angry at my cats was so exhausting. It felt like they never learned from my anger. Instead, I spent my time trying to understand my cat, finding ways to solve the problems that made me angry, and vent it out the right way. Now, as I understand my cats better, I am happier with them and found more things that makes me love them even more.
If you frequently feel angry at your pets, or your friends, or your families, or whatever it is, take a deep breath. Clarify your mind, understand that the thing you hate right now can also make you happy, think about why they act that way, and most importantly, vent out all your anger in a mindful manner. You will be happier and find less reason to be angry. Hope this helps.